


The Little Things

by strangenat



Category: Kate McKinnon - Fandom, Saturday Night Live
Genre: Adoption, Kate McKinnon - Freeform, Kate Mckinnon - Fandom - Freeform, New York City
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 12:26:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18388433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangenat/pseuds/strangenat
Summary: "May you always be the one who notices the little things that make the light pour through, and may they always remind you: there is more to life and there is more to you." - Morgan Harper NicholsIn which a talented comedian takes in a girl on the streets.Started 04/19-- Completed ??





	1. prologue

New York City, the place where anything and everything could happen, you could make it, or you could break it. Luckily, for Kate McKinnon, she had made it, and she had made it far. From a broke university student cutting hair in her Columbia University dorms to being on the show of her dreams every week. 

It was in the early hours of the morning when she saw her, curled up on a bench, hands clinging to a backpack that was almost falling apart. The girl had brown hair that was tied back into a loose ponytail, her features were sunken and the bags under her eyes were deep and hollow. Exhausted from the party Kate jogged up to the bench and shook the girl awake.


	2. chinese food

"Is she going to wake up?" "How old is she?" "What is she even doing here?" I glanced down at my watch, it was 5:36am, the SNL afterparty had just finished, but I left early feeling sick to my stomach. The feeling of sickness accompanied me throughout the subway ride but as soon as I saw this mysterious girl, it washed away and quickly got replaced with worry. I had always seen homeless people on the streets but what gravitated me towards this girl?

There was rustling and I quickly looked down at the girl and to my relief she was stirring awake. Her eyes quickly opened and she clutched her backpack even tighter, her eyes anxiously scanned the area and she finally focused on me. 

"Hey, I uh, I'm not going to hurt you." I said placing my hand on her arm trying to calm her down. She gulped and nodded. "I just need to know that you're safe and you've got somewhere to go." 

We sat in silence for a few seconds before she spoke, my hand stayed where it was as my thumb rubbed in circles attempting to calm her down. 

"I don't really have anywhere to go... but don't worry about me, I'll be good." She responded, her eyes scanning me. 

I sighed, "I can't just leave you here, you're what, 15? I don't want to imagine what could or what has already happened." 

"Just... don't, okay? I know I don't look good right now, but I'll have it sorted out in a bit." 

"At least tell me your name, or take this." I pulled out a twenty from my pocket, scribbled my number on it and crumpled it in her hand. 

She took the bill and pocketed it, "I'm Clara."

"Kate." I said as I reached my hand out for a handshake. She hesitated for a moment before shaking it, but when she did, she gave me a weak smile. I assumed that that was the best I was going to get and stood up. "Please don't hesitate to call, if you need anything, my number is on the bill." I gave her a smile and walked off.

I wake up the next morning to the sound of my cat, Nino, crying in my face. I roll over to check the time, its 11:15am. I groan as I roll out of bed and head to the bathroom where I take a shot of mouthwash, Nino follows me crying for his breakfast. 

About ten minutes later I’m seated at my kitchen table sipping coffee while Nino contently eats his breakfast. I let my mind wander and soon enough my mind wanders to the thought of Clara and if she was okay. The thought of her being alone in the streets of New York City just scared me. I calmed myself down by remembering I gave her my number so if she ever needed anything, she would hopefully call.

The next few hours were a blur, I went out for a run and then went to go complete some errands, it was now 4:30pm and Leslie and I decided to have a late lunch/dinner at my favourite restaurant. A little Chinese hole-in-the-wall on 77th street. I arrive early so I’m seated by myself for a bit. 

“Hey bitch!” Is what I’m greeted by, I look up and see my best friend and cast-mate Leslie Jones. She takes a seat across from me and she starts talking about the new Game of Thrones episode, which no, I do not watch. She responds to that with a grimace and continues to explain that while she watches she feels empowered. I giggle at that and soon enough we’re talking about me and my life. I tread lightly on the events of last night not mentioning Clara, instead I tell her that I went straight home. I think she notices that something is off, she doesn’t press questions instead, she starts talking about this weeks show. “Oh my god Kit Harrington is hosting this week, I am beyond, excited.” 

“Leslie, believe me, I know you are.” I respond. Leslie never shuts up about Game of Thrones and I am already imagining the endless Game of Thrones related skits that will be pitched on Tuesday’s writing session. 

“All those dragons are fucking nuts, Kate, I’m telling you, you gotta get into it.” She says after giving me a hearty laugh.

“Leslie, you know me, I’m too busy watching The Great British Bakeoff and all of those Masterchef shows, let alone the Bachelorette…”

“Girl please,” she laughs “The Bachelorette is not a serious commitment.” 

We continue our bantering back and forth until a waiter comes by to take our order, which are quickly delivered and before I know it its 5:30pm. Leslie and I are just finishing up our meals, when my phone begins to vibrate. My eyes widen as I dig into my pockets and pull it out. Its a number I don’t recognize but it does have a New York area code. 

“Hey Leslie, sorry, I need to take this.” 

I swipe right on the phone and hold it up to my ear. 

“Hi is this Kate?” An unfamiliar voice says.

“Hi, yes, this is she.” 

“We’ve got an ‘Clara’ down at the 20th precinct on W 82nd, she used you as her one phone call.”

The next thing I know I’m telling Leslie that I’ll pay her back and text her whats going on, I rush out the door and hail a cab to the 20th precinct.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! i hope u enjoyed the chapter. i'm going to try and post once a week, maybe twice if I can balance school and writing. let me know what u think since i have written a fanfic in like almost a year or two.
> 
> xx nat
> 
> 4915 characters


	3. tampons

The next thing I know I’m telling Leslie that I’ll pay her back and text her whats going on, I rush out the door and hail a cap to the 20th precinct. 

I shut the cab door behind me as I thanked the driver, and walked into the precinct. I don’t really know what I was expecting to see as I went inside, but it was nothing like Brooklyn 99 that’s for sure. It wasn’t hustling and bustling with business, it was dead and quiet, even the receptionist looked out of it as I told her why I was here. 

“Just take a seat and somebody will come and get you from the back.”  
So there I was, sitting in the middle of an empty precinct, mind full of worry of what Clara had gotten herself into. 

“Kate…?” A female cop said as she stuck her head out from behind a closed door. I wondered why she didn’t say McKinnon, but then I realized that I had only introduced myself to Clara as Kate. Good one. 

I grabbed my backpack and phone and walked to where she was. When I walked into the room, I was surprised to see that it was an interrogation room, and I instantly became even more worried. But as soon as I saw Clara and her lopsided grin and that she wasn’t handcuffed to the table I was calm once again. 

“So Clara, now that Kate is here, would you like to tell us your birthday, social security number, and last name?”

I realize that Clara had kept this all to herself patiently waiting for me to show up, she trusted me. I took a seat next to her and held her handcuffed hand and watched her as she responded to the question. I finally learned that her last name was in fact Stevens and that she was born on May 8th, 2003. 

“And uhhh, Kate, whats your last name?” The female cop asked me.

“McKinnon.” I responded. Something clicked in Clara’s head as she turned to face me with her mouth wide open. “You… Kate?…McKinnon.” She said breathlessly.

I winked at her and said “Yes, thats me, now why don’t you tell me what you’re doing in here, missy.”

“Ms. Clara Stevens was found shoplifting at a variety store on 80th street. The total was $19.96—”

“Clara,” I hissed “Why did you use the 20 I gave you?”

“Cuz it had your number on it… and I was going to call you right after I left the store.” She mumbled.

I put my hand on her shoulder, “So, Sergeant… Jeffreys, may I ask what Clara was shoplifting?” I said as I read her name tag. 

“Oh uh, a box of tampons and some candy.” I looked over at Clara too see her biting her lip as she shrugged at me.

I gave her a grin in response.  
“Alright, well what paperwork do I have to fill out?” I sighed.

Sergeant Jeffreys handed me countless forms and finally, after half an hour of signing and reading, we were finally able to leave. Thankfully the shoplifting charge would be off of Clara’s criminal record once she turned eighteen.

“So, where to now?” Clara asked me as she slung her backpack over her shoulder. 

“I don’t know, my place?” I shrugged. Clara stopped dead in her tracks, “Uh no, anywhere but there, I don’t really think you’d want me there…”

“Clara, hun,” I wrapped my arm around her, “Its fine, and plus, at my place, you get unlimited tampons, for free.” I winked.

She giggled and that was good enough for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope u all liked this!! im super happy that i was able to update twice this week :)). also, whos ready for emma stone tmrw night!! ahhh i am so ready.


	4. shower

My keys jingle as I pull them out of my pocket to unlock my apartment door. Clara is stood behind me fumbling with her hoodie as she giggles at some random joke that I told her. The entire subway back to my apartment I was trying to make her laugh hoping to catch a glimpse of her smile, it was a success. 

 

“So this is where Kate McKinnon resides, huh.” Clara says as she steps in through the doorway.

 

“Yeah, not too fancy.” I respond as I close the door behind me. 

 

I show her to the guest room, where I see her jaw drop at the cosy twin bed and duvet (Nino is sleeping on the bed even though I swore I trained him not to), and even the ensuite shower and bathroom. 

 

“So yeah, go and take a shower, I’ll drop off some extra clothes and pyjamas on your bed and we can work from there.” I smile. 

 

“Awesome, thanks so much.” And finally, for the first time, I see her take off her backpack leave it on the floor, and disappear behind the bathroom door. I hear the shower water turn on as I take out some pyjamas and lay them out on the bed with a few other clothes, I even dig up an old pair of converse. I then leave the room and sit down at my kitchen table and start dialling Leslie’s number. 

 

I impatiently tap my foot while the phone rings, and I groan when it goes to voicemail. 

 

“C’mon Leslie… pick up, pick up.” 

 

**_ CLARA’S POV _ **

 

I step into the warm water letting it trickle over my body as I begin to calm down. 

 

_ Me, Clara Steven’s, a 15 year old girl, left on the cold street’s of New York City, in Kate McKinnon’s apartment. I don’t really understand why I didn’t recognize Kate when she woke me up on the park bench, maybe it was because I was tired? Whatever, I was with her now and she couldn’t possibly care enough to want me around long enough, right?  _

 

After a few more minutes of debating and washing, I had decided that I was going to change into Kate’s clothes grab my backpack and leave. She didn’t need the burden of me around anyways. 

 

As I exited the shower and got changed into the warm and dry clothes I started feeling kind of bad. No matter how hard I tried to shake off the feeling it stuck with me, even when I picked up my old backpack off the floor, it stayed. 

 

“Bye kitty.” I say as I open the door.

 

“… Leslie, I don’t even know who she is, all I know is that her name is Clara Stevens and that she’s 15. What do I do with that? Where do I start?” I hear Kate say over the phone. I open my mouth the say something but the words don’t come out instead, my eyes start to water. I see Kate rush up from her chair and over to me, but I run out the door before she can stop me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos guys yall make my heart warm. also thanks for 40 hits im so happy ugh
> 
> xoxo nat   
> <3


	5. fire escape

When I run out the door I quickly scan the area and I press the elevator button impatiently.

“Clara?” Kate says worriedly.

I whip my head around to see her there, hands nervously across her chest. 

“Just please come back inside, we can talk it through.”

“I— Kate, I can’t.” The elevator doors open and I start to walk in, put she grabs my arm and pulls me out. 

“Just follow me, okay,” I give her a look and try and tug away, “please.” She finishes. 

“Kate, why do you want to help me so bad? Just let it go.” I grumble starting to get annoyed. 

“Come with me.” Before I know it, Kate pulls me away from the elevators and opens a door thats at the end of the hallway labeled ‘Fire Escape’.

I gasp at whats in front of me, the sun is setting over the New York City skyline and I can see for miles. Kate closes the door behind us and motions for me to take a seat on the stairs.

“This is my favourite spot, I normally come here when I’m just exhausted from a week of working… I know you’re confused and upset at the world and I understand that, just please know that I’m not going to force you to do anything. But I can I promise you’ll be much safer here with me.” 

My mouth opens and closes as I try and think of something to say.

KATE’S POV

I sit beside Clara as I watch her struggle with something to say.

“Hey,” I move closer to her on the steps and take ahold of her hand. “You don’t have to say anything, I just needed you to hear that.” 

“No, it’s okay… you deserve a response.” She says with a shaky breath. We sit in silence for a few seconds and then she continues with her thought.

“Do you ever feel like a stranger to yourself?” 

I turn to face her and start to speak but she cuts me off. 

“Listen, I know it sounds super crazy but its the truth. I just don’t know who I am anymore. All this shit happens to me and I just let it run its course, its like I don’t even care anymore. And it fucking hurts, so much.” 

I see tears falling from her eyes as she looks out at the city. 

“I’m in the city that never sleeps, or the city with endless opportunity and my life is fucking worthless. I let it all go to shit. And I don’t want you to get to know me because I’ll just be a big fucking disappointment.” She’s stumbling over her words and I take the opportunity to put my hand on her cheek and turn her face so she’s looking in my eyes.

“Hey,” I wipe the tears away from her cheeks with my thumb, “If there’s one thing I know about you, its that you’re not worthless or even a disappointment. Why don’t you stay here for a week and at the end of it, we’ll see how you feel? Does that sound like a plan?” 

She lets out a sob and nods her head. 

“Yeah?” I say.

“Yeah.” She responds with even more tears streaming down her cheeks.

“C’mere.” I say as I pull her into a big hug, and we just sit there, watching the sun set over New York City together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! i hope u enjoyed this chapter. im super proud of it because it took me while to write, i needed to get it just perfect. let me know what u think so far :)) 
> 
> xoxo
> 
> nat <3
> 
> also major inspo creds to this yt vid  
> its a song called "have u ever felt like a stranger to yourself?"  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGC_N_DeKgY&t=87s


	6. sketchbook

CLARA'S POV

I wake up early on the couch, snuggled into Kate and I quickly jolt up wondering why I’m in that position. The cat, Nino, is curled up on the other end of the couch and he gives me an eye as I stand up and shut off the television. 

Wow, I’m in Kate McKinnon’s apartment, to which I will be staying in for a week. The apartment is neatly organized but it has its little quirks, like the unusual amount of pictures of cats, as well as a great abundance of throw pillows and blankets. As I turn around, the kitchen is behind me and the early morning sunshine is pouring into it. It was quite picturesque to be honest. 

I turn back around and face the mantle and theres a hallway to the right of it which I follow. The first door on the left is her bedroom and as I start to step in I feel a little guilty so I quickly back out of the room and keep walking. Theres an office at the end of the hall, the door is ajar so I walk in and gasp. The sun is pouring in from the window on the right which brightens up the whole room. Theres a desk pushed up to the wall on the left with a laptop and a stack of paper beside it and a desk chair neatly tucked in, theres a grey couch underneath a second window which is across from the door. As I turn to scan the room theres a bookshelf filled with books and countless knick knacks. As I look closer I see her (two!) Emmy awards as well as some other awards. My fingers graze across some yellow tinted glasses with metal frames and I even notice that she kept a pair of black suspenders. I turn around and see a two guitars and gasp when I see an easel with an unfinished painting on it and oil paint tubes scattered below on the off white carpet. 

“I guess you like my painting.” I whip around and see a sleepy Kate leaning against the doorframe with Nino purring at her feet. 

My face turns bright red as I try start to speak. “I—I, I wasn’t trying to take anything, I’m just curious.”

“Love,” She walks towards me and puts her arm on my shoulder. I flinch a little bit and I think she notices, “I know you’re not trying to take anything, its okay.” 

I give a weak grin and she continues “The painting,” She takes it off of the easel and holds it in her hands “I started it like seven years ago when I was waiting for a call from Lorne Micheals about my SNL audition, I can never seem to finish it.” 

“I mean I like where it was going, its very… photo-realist.” I respond. 

“Photo-realist, thats very painter-y for you to say. Do you like to paint?” She asks as she puts the painting back. 

“My god, I love to paint… It’s my favourite thing to do. I love art. ” We somehow end up sitting on the coach together again and Nino spreads himself out on the carpet. 

“Really? Thats amazing. I’d love to see your artwork sometime.” 

“I, uh yeah,” My heart starts racing, nobody has ever really been interested in my artwork before, but I trust Kate, so I take a leap of faith. “Sure, I’ll show you some of my favourites now.” 

I go and find my trusted backpack and dig through my many prized possessions and find my battered up sketchbook. I walk back to the office holding the sketchbook with a death grip. 

Kate picks up on my nervousness and tells me, “Hey its okay if you don’t want to show me, if it too personal I get it.”

“No, no, I want to do this, you’ve been so kind to me, this is the least I can do.” I take a deep breath as I open up the book. I flip through the first few pages quickly skipping past my early art before I stop on a pencil drawing of the Christopher Columbus statue in central park. 

“Wow… Clara, this is amazing.” Kate traces the statues with him fingers as she admires it. 

“Its not that amazing—“ 

“Clara,” She cuts me off “Its amazing, don’t sell yourself short.” She looks at me in the eyes before focusing on the artwork. 

I flip ahead a little bit more in the book and stop at a watercolour painting of a pigeon on a sidewalk. “There’s nothing special about this one, I’m just really proud of the watercolour blending I did.” Kate’s fingers find their way back on the page as she traces the lines and details. 

“You somehow make an ugly New York City pigeon look cute, its great Clara.” Kate says as she continues to admire it. 

I continue to flip through the sketchbook quickly and land on one of my favourites. Its a simple sketch of a girl on a subway, she’s reading a book but she kept moving around so I had to draw her face in the new position over and over. “This is my favourite so far. I was able to afford a day trip to the Manhattan Bridge, so I took the subway and drew this woman in front of me.” I continue to explain how she kept moving but Kate is absorbed in the artwork. 

“Clara, this is amazing… May I?” She asks me as she gestures towards taking the book. I nod in approval and she takes it from me and moves it on her lap. A small print falls out of the book onto the ground and Kate quickly picks it up. 

“I’m so sorry!” She says worriedly. 

“Don’t worry about it, its fine.” I shrug it off. 

She flips it over and thats when I remember what it was. It was my first week on the streets and I decided to walk to Rockefeller Plaza. I sat down across the street from NBC Studios and drew the building and iconic Rainbow Room Observation NBC Studios sign. I remember how sad I was in that time period and how every Saturday night I would sit across the street to watch the buzz of the audience file out after the show. 

I look over at Kate and I see her completely absorbed in it, fingers tracing the letters and smiling at it. 

“You can keep it if you want, it doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” I don’t need to hold onto those memories anymore. 

“Really? Are you sure?” She says as she looks at me with her blue eyes. 

“Yeah… Of course.” I smile. 

She stands up from her spot on the couch and stands the print up next to a framed photo of her and her co-star, Mila Kunis on set. 

“It’s perfect.” She takes a step back to admire the bookshelf and I walk over to join her. 

“I’m glad you like it.” 

And without warning my grumbling stomach ruins the moment.

“Someones hungry.” Kate giggles at me.

I give a lopsided grin with a shrug and Kate continues “I don’t have anything but we can go out for breakfast at my favourite diner?”

“Sure, sounds like a plan.” I smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so so proud of this chapter. i was able to sit down and write after a hard week. and even though it doesn't fit the mold of my timeline since i rambled a little bit, its pretty cute. let me know what u think and maybe even leave some kudos, talking to u guys makes my heart happy. i also really hope i captured kate right, its something ive been worrying myself with, i want this fanfic to be the best it could possibly be!
> 
> wishing everyone a good weekend
> 
> xoxo  
> nat


	7. waffles

KATE’S POV

We sit at the back of the diner together, and after the hassle of ordering, Clara is flustered. I ordered eggs benedict, while Clara ordered waffles with whipped cream and strawberries— Leslie Knope style. I could tell that this was the first full meal she’d had in a few days and she was anxiously checking the prices making sure it wasn’t too much, she even put her money out on the table to count if she had enough to buy something. When I touched her hand to tell her to put it away and that I had it covered, she flinched. I know it wasn’t her fault, but it pained me to know that she was on edge with me. 

“So, Clara, is there anything you’d like to do this week?” I asked her. 

She snapped out of her daydream and quickly responded. 

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe start a new painting?” Her eyes wandered off, darting around the diner in a panic. 

“Clara?” I said softly. Her eyes darted back to meet mine for a second. “Is everything okay?” 

The blood rushed to her face as she took a deep breath. “Oh, yeah, I’m good. Sorry, I haven’t been in public like this in a while.” 

“Hey, its okay. I’m right here if you need anything.” I saw her eyes soften as they met mine. 

“Sorry, yeah. I might start a new painting, and teach myself the guitar, if thats okay…” 

I gave a wide grin at the thought of us playing guitar together, it would be good for her. “Yeah! Of course, Clara. You can use my old acoustic.” 

“Really? Thank you! What about you Kate, what are you up to this week?” Clara asked me. I sensed that she had calmed down a great deal and her eyes were focused on me. 

“Well, SNL is this weekend, we’ve got Kit Harrington hosting,” She gave a confused look at the name, “Game of thrones, that dude. And that’s really it.” 

“Wow… that sounds, amazing.” 

“Yeah, its my dream job. I never thought this would be my life.” I chuckled, “Have you seen SNL?” 

“Hm, well of course I know what it is, but I never really got into it, because of… well you know.” She trailed off at the end, but I knew what she meant. 

“Well… what do you think of coming to the studio this week and seeing the process?” 

“Oh, Kate, I couldn’t I’d be a nuisance, I’d be in the way.” She stumbled over her words and her hands fiddled with the hem on her shirt. 

“Clara, love, its fine. Don’t worry about it, for our important meetings you can stand with me or just crash in my office, you definitely won’t be a nuisance.”

The thought of that seemed to calm her down again as she nodded her head in approval. “Great! I’m so excited.” I grinned. 

Clara opened her mouth to say something, but a waiter quickly came by to drop off our food and we dug in. 

After eating, we got up and headed towards the subway station. We sat in silence for a bit, but it wasn’t the uncomfortable silence. It was the silence that you didn’t need to break because you felt so comfortable with the other person. I only hoped that Clara felt that way with me. I turned on my phone and put my headphones in and pressed play on a random podcast, I noticed Clara watching me and I offered her a headphone.

“Oh thanks! What are you listening to?” She said happily.

“I don’t know maybe some random podcast?” I pressed play on my phone, and relaxed into the uncomfortable subway seat. After a few minutes of listening, I noticed that Clara was intently listening and even smiled a bit at the jokes, I was glad to see her smile. The subway ride soon ended and I think she was sad to see me press pause on the podcast— maybe I’ll lend her my phone while I’m rehearsing. 

We soon made it to the back entrance and I used my key to enter. As I looked behind me I noticed Clara looking anywhere but at me or the entrance. 

“Hey, Clara, don’t stress it’ll be fine.” I said as I pocketed my key to the door and walked towards her. 

“I-I, you don’t want me there, I’ll just leave.” She turns around and starts to walk away, but I grab her hand and softly turn her to face me. 

“You’re wanted here, trust me. And if you’re feeling uncomfortable and really really want to go, we’ll go, but I promise you it won’t ever get to that point.” 

She takes a deep breath before nodding and walks towards me, gluing herself to my side as we walk through the door. When we enter and walk down the hallway, Leslie is the first person we bump into. 

“Hey Kate!” She greets me with her booming voice and eyes Clara who is trying not to back down from Leslie’s loud presence. 

I squeeze Clara’s hand, “Hey Leslie, this is Clara. She’s going to be staying with me for the week.” Leslie looks her over, and I sense Clara feeling uncomfortable. Without warning Leslie breaks into a massive grin and pulls Clara forward into a massive hug. Clara is so surprised by this that I see her flinch when Leslie pulls her in. This is the third time its happened, and I know its a pressing issue, but I put it to the back of my mind as I try and focus on how I can calm Clara down now. 

“Its so nice to meet you, Clara.” Leslie says loudly. I sense Clara stiffen up beside me and I squeeze her hand, “Its nice to meet you too.” She replies. 

I see Leslie open her mouth to say something but I interject. “Hey, Clara want to head to my office?” Clara nods her head almost immediately, and as I walk away with her, I turn my head and see Leslie mouthing the word sorry. I give her an apologetic look that is somewhat mixed with confusion, but she reads it correctly and wanders off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this took so long to update, ack its been more than a week. i hope u enjoy, and i promise that the next few chapters will be a lot better and if theyre not out in the next week or so, i promise im working extra hard to make them perfect.


	8. offices

We made our way to my office quickly only running into Cecily and Melissa who calmly greeted Clara with open arms. Once I closed the door behind me Clara let out a deep sigh and lay down on the couch. I greeted Aidy with a hug and once we separated she looked over at Clara and back at me and gave me a look. I responded to it with a nod and we went outside. 

“Sooo, whats up with, Clara?” She said closing the door behind her. 

“I’m trying my best to show her that she’s safe but it’s hard because every time someone acts too abruptly, like Leslie, she flinches and its heartbreaking for me to see.” I sighed. 

“Wait wait, she flinched at Leslie? When?” Aidy asked taking her hands into mine. 

“Like 10 minutes ago? When we first walked into the building Leslie tried to give her a hug was was just being too… loud.” I said in a hushed tone. 

“Oh. Well, that’s understandable?” She questioned. 

“I mean I get why she did it, but its just sad that we haven’t made any progress into making her feel safe. “ I frowned. 

“Kate, you’ve known her for like, what? Three days? I think you’re doing great so far, don’t worry too much about her. She knows you care and that means a lot.” Aidy reassured me. 

“Yeah? Honestly?” I questioned. 

“Honest.” She said giving me another hug. I quickly looked down at my Fitbit and realized that I was two minutes late to my fitting. “Shit, I gotta go, Aidy. Thank you!” 

Clara’s POV

“Hey Clara.” Aidy says softly as she re-appears from behind the door. She takes a seat beside me smiling.

“Hey…”

“Oh I like your shirt!” She says perking up a bit. 

“Thanks,” I smile “Its Kates.” I let out a small laugh which I think Aidy liked to hear. We resume into an awkward silence for a bit but then Aidy breaks it.

“Kate’s worried about you.” 

I jolt my head around to face her. “Oh?” 

“She notices that you flinch when people get too close to you, or are too loud, and she’s too sweet to call you out on it. So, I’m going to ask you once and once only, do you feel safe with Kate?”

I feel the blood rush to my face as I turn to meet Aidy’s glance. 

“I…” I bite my lip, “I do feel safe with Kate.”I nod my head “It’s just a matter of knowing that she isn’t going to hurt me is what’s hard to grasp. Because I haven’t felt this safe in so long, I feel like…” I sigh, “I feel like I’m going to fuck it up.” 

“Clara, I can promise you that nothing you will ever do will make Kate care about you any less. I mean, have you seen the way she looks at you? It a look mixed with admiration and worry. She’s too scared to say it because she worries that you don’t feel the same way but she loves you.” Aidy chuckles. 

I’m dumbfounded. Kate loves me, or at least Aidy says she does.

“Thanks.” Is all I can manage to say to Aidy. 

“Can I give you a hug?” 

“Uh, yeah, why not.” I smile. 

Ten minutes later Kate hurries back into the office all flushed, but once she sees Aidy and I laughing and having a good time, she relaxes. 

“Hey!” I smile as I walk over to give her a hug. 

“Hey.” She says softly, muffled by our hug. “How are you holding up?” 

“Good. Really Good, thanks.” I give her a big smile as I look her in the eyes. She meets my gaze and her hands move down to my arms where she gives them a squeeze. I see Aidy give me a thumbs up from where she’s seated at her desk.

“You want to go to the studio?” She asks grabbing my hand. And before I can answer she’s pulling me out the door. I give Aidy a grin and follow close behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop whoop. another update. sorry for the delay im very swamped w exams but ive written a lot in the past two days   
> ;)
> 
> -nat xoxo <3


	9. after-after party

The week at SNL flies by, the energy in that building is insane. There’s no way to describe it. Unfortunately, NBC has rules where you have to be 16 to sit in the audience, and since I’m 15, it didn’t work out, even Kate couldn’t find away around it no matter how hard she tried. So instead of sitting in the audience for the show, I was in the corridor leading into the big studio with the hustle and bustle right around me. Throughout the show during quick changes Kate would smile at me while her dresser put her clothes on and quickly ask me how I thought the show was. Every time I said it was amazing because it really was; Kit Harrington was hilarious. 

Since there was no way I was going to be able to sit in the audience at 15, Kate and I figured that it was going to be impossible for me to go to the afterparty. Kate wanted to go home with me because she felt bad that I couldn’t go to the party, but I insisted that she go and have fun. 

So here I am sitting on the couch, pyjamas on in front of the television at Kate’s apartment with Nino snuggled up on my lap. It was about 3am and the thought of heading to bed had crossed my mind multiple times but I wanted to stay up for when Kate came home. 

I wandered into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water when I heard the keys fumbling around in the door. Seconds later I see Kate step through, her blonde hair is tied in a bun and she’s wearing her signature black suit. She dumps off her heels and backpack and comes over to give me a hug. 

“Hey, how was the party?” I ask once we separate. 

“Good! I just wish you could come.” She gives me a fake pout but giggles soon after. 

I shrug, “Sorry?” 

“Not your fault, just stupid NBC…” She trails off, collapsing on the couch. 

“Well, I’m going to head to bed.” It was my last night here after all, Kate told me I could only stay the week and the week was up. 

I walk over to her and lean down for one last hug.

“Goodnight!” 

I walk into my room and start shoving some random stuff into my backpack then I hear footsteps running down the hall and see my door open abruptly. 

“Hey?” 

“Hey.” She leans against the door way. “I-uh, I don’t know if I’m tipsy right now, but nonetheless I know what I’m saying and I mean it 100%. Clara, I want you to stay with me. You’re so sweet and funny and charismatic, I don’t really know how it all works, all I know is that I want you to stay here, with me, so what do you say?” 

The next thing I know there I launch myself at Kate for a massive hug. We’ve both tumbled on the ground entangled into each other and I can hear her laughing. 

“So I take that as a yes?” She said looking up at me blowing the hair out of her face from her ruined bun. 

There are tears in my eyes as I look at her blue ones . “Yes.” This time she tackles me in a hug and before I know it we’re both crying and laughing at the same time.   
We’ve calmed down after a bit, still hugging though, Kate says “Thank you.” 

I give her a confused look, “Why are you thanking me? Thank you.”

“Because people don’t thank you enough. You’ve made me so happy over the past week I don’t think you realize it.” 

I don’t really know what to say, “You’re welcome?” 

I snuggle back into Kate, which is somehow comfortable even though we’re laying on hardwood flooring. I suppress a yawn, “Time for bed?” She asks. 

“Yeah.” I slowly get up and make my way under the covers of the bed.

Kate stands up soon after me yawning as well.

“Goodnight, Clara.” She smiles at me turning off the bedroom light and Nino follows her out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo, what do u guys think!!? thanks for all the hits and kudos. it really makes me happy to see them so don't hesitate to leave any feedback <3


	10. graffiti bathroom

Kate’s POV

“Hello, Clara Stevens, right? And you’re Ms. McKinnon I presume? I’m Andrea, its great to finally meet you both.” 

I nod my head and shake her outstretched hand and Clara does the same.

“Hi. Nice to meet you. You can call me Kate.” 

Clara and I sat down in the two chairs across from her desk and the discussion begins.

A few days had gone by since I had asked Clara if she would like to stay with me, and after consulting with my mother, I decided to go with the foster care route, which led us to a meeting with Clara’s new caseworker, Andrea at the New York City Administration for Child Services. 

“So Kate, since Clara has never been registered into the foster system, we’re going to start with that and normally, with cases like these, the adult has to partake in 12 hours of foster care classes. I can already tell that you guys have a special bond…” I look down and smile when I notice that Clara’s hand have found mine and entagled themselves in them. I squeeze them and give her a smile that she blushes at. “So Kate, you’ll only have to take 6. How does Mondays from 6-7 sound?” 

“That sounds perfect.” I grin.

“Great. After the hours are clocked in, you’re going to be scheduled to 1 home visit every 3 months for a year, and if Clara is still living with you after that as a foster child, they change from 1 visit ever 6 months.” 

The meeting goes on for another half hour or so until Andrea begins to ask Clara the questions. The questions were pretty straightforward, like her birthday, full name-- I found out that her middle name is Rose which makes her name sound absolutely beautiful-- and even social security number (which I’m surprised that she knew), and then they headed into more heavy questions, like did she feel safe in my home, which she answered immediately with a small smile, “Definitely!” I could’ve cried tears of joy there. 

“Alright, that should be it, Kate, I’ll email you the address later today.” 

Clara and I stand up to shake her hand and we walk out.

“See that wasn’t so bad was it?” I playfully nudge Clara as I pull her into an awkward side hug. 

“It wasn’t bad at all, I’m sorry for making a fuss about it.”

“Don’t even worry about it, I get how scary it might seem.” Clara smiles up at me and places her hand in mine. 

“Yeah… Just a lil bit scary.” She chuckles. 

We walk in silence for a little bit until we reach the busy streets of Manhattan. I can tell that Clara is exhausted so I suggest dinner at home. She nods in approval and we make our way to the nearest subway stop. 

Claras head is resting on my shoulder and she’s just about to doze off but the loud noise of the approaching train scares her. She jolts her head up and looks in every direction possible before seeing my face and calming down.

“Hey, hey I’m here.” I hold both of her hands making eye contact but as soon as she connects to me eyes she’s jostled into me by a man getting on the subway. I scowl but lead Clara onto the subway.

The subway ride is painfully long and theres no way for me to pass the time because I can’t reach my phone in my pocket. One of my hands is tightly being held onto by Clara who is in the seat in front of me and the other is weaved in between several bodies holding onto a subway pole. 

I’ve zoned out for bit but immediately tune back into reality when I see Clara frantically looking around, I squeeze her hand and she looks right at me with tears brimming at her eyes. I give her a nod and as soon as the next subway stop hits I calmly leave the subway with Clara trailing behind me, whimpering. 

I’m frantically searching for a room or somewhere private for us to go to and I know that going up to the street is one of the worst possible ideas in this scenario but since its rush hour the subway station is absolutely chaotic as well.

A new subway pulls in and a whole load of people get off of it and this is when the madness starts. I pull Clara in closer to me and I can see the tears rushing down her face. I look around for a minute or so but it feel like so much longer because Clara is sobbing in my chest on the verge or an anxiety attack. And then I finally spot it; a handicapped bathroom. I softly put my hand on Clara’s chin and slowly pull her up so she’s looking at me and tell her I found a place for us to go she nods her head and tightly grips my hands that have unraveled themselves from our hug. I start to weave through the sea of people with Clara closely behind trying to calm herself down. Finally, after several annoyed looks from people walking towards the subway we make it to the bathroom which is thankfully unlocked.

I pull on the handle and lead Clara in to the bathroom and as soon as I shut the door behind me Clara puts herself against the graffitied tiled walls and starts panicking into a full fledged anxiety attack. Luckily I’ve been through this before since my little sister had anxiety and I calmed Clara down in a matter of minutes. 

“Clara. I need you to tell me 5 things you can see.” Her hands have a death grip on mine and I’m against the wall beside her. 

Between her rapid breaths she’s managed to list off 5 things including some lovely sharpie graffiti (brought to you by the angsty stoners of NYC) and the absolutely disgusting toilet. 

I continue to do the technique with her until we’ve reached one thing she can taste which she gets a little stuck on, but I can tell that her anxious breathing is gone and she’s just crying now. 

“Oh Clara come here.” She buries herself in my shoulder as I wrap my arms around her and she’s crying even harder now. 

“Shhhh. It’s okay I’ve got you. You’re here safe with me. I promise I’m never going to let anyone hurt you ever again.” 

The bathroom floor is absolutely disgusting but Clara has practically put her entire body weight on me so I slide down the wall and sit on the floor with Clara curled up on my lap while I play with her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh hello loves. so sorry for my absence on this site. exam season kicked my ass and then i went on vacation. but i did not forget about you guys! i wrote an extra long chapter. I tried to make it cute and really sweet but then my creativity got the best of me and i wrote like the saddest thing possibly ever?? whatever. i hope you guys enjoyed it and i will be back hopefully very soon w a new chapter. 
> 
> lots and lots of love,  
> nat xoxo


	11. phone calls

CLARA’S POV

Season 44 of SNL had wrapped up a few weeks ago and summer was in full action. Kate had left for Atlanta as soon as SNL finished to film her new Hulu show so I had been living in the apartment alone but we texted almost every hour and facetimed when we could. 

My birthday had taken place during a week that SNL was on so Kate decided to just have me at the studio for the entire week and got the entire cast to sing happy birthday to me right before the show. I guess she felt kind of bad that we couldn’t have a proper celebration on the day of my actual birthday because she tried cooking dinner, but she was so exhausted that she went to bed (she didn’t really, she fell asleep on the couch while taking a little “break” while the pasta cooked) so the next morning, I woke up to a smiling Kate with a small wrapped gift in her hand. I basically refused to open it but after lots of convincing she got me to in which I found a phone. I literally gave her a death stare because I was so mad at her for spoiling me but she convinced me that I needed it since I would be taking the subway by myself more frequently and just for safety in general.

I’ve gotten so close with Kate in the past month and am forever thankful for every little thing that she does for me, but I miss her a shit-ton, so to keep me busy I’ve been hanging out with the other SNL cast members, like today, Cecily invited me out for lunch. 

I quickly packed up my backpack with my Metrocard, keys, wallet and any other small thing that I would need for lunch, shot Kate a quick text— “Hey I’m leaving for lunch with Cecily. How’s filming? Miss you <3” she quickly responded that she was on lunch break and filming was tiring but fun and that she wanted to FaceTime tonight. I responded, pocketed my phone and hurried out the door to the subway station.

The subway station was thankfully calm (well as calm as a New York City subway station could be) and I made it to where Cecily and I chose to meet up. It was a nice little bistro cafe on the outskirts of Central Park. I made it there 10 minutes early so I had some time to chill, but before I knew it Cecily had arrived. 

“Hey girl!” She said happily as she reached in for a hug. 

I’m so happy to see her that I give her a tight hug. “Hey,” I smile softly “How are you?”

“I’m good! Lets talk about you.” She says walking into the cafe and taking a seat I follow her and a waitress comes by to drop off menus. 

“Hah, I’m doing good, I just miss Kate a lot.” I frown as I take a quick look at the menu. 

“I totally get that, and she misses you too! She worries about you a lot.” 

I furrowed my brow, “Why could Kate be worried about me its not like i—“ and then I remember all the times that Kate and I were on the kitchen floor while she tries to calm me down from my numerous anxiety attacks, me waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares and coming to her bedroom crying as well as my constant worrying that Kate was one day just going to be gone one day.

“Ah. I get it now.” I give Cecily a meek smile. 

“Hey,” She reaches for my hand and squeezes it, “Its okay, we’re all here to support you unconditionally and do whatever it takes to prove it to you that we care.”

“Thank you. You guys are the best.” 

We order in a little bit, and before I know it Cecily has me laughing so hard that I’m almost chocking on my lunch. Lunch passes by so quickly and I’m super sad to go home to an empty apartment (well not totally empty since Nino exists). We say our goodbyes and I make sure to hug Cecily extra tight and then we go our separate ways. 

The subway ride home is quick and easy and so is the walk to the apartment. I take the elevator up like normal but as soon as I get to the right floor I hear voices coming from our apartment, the door is slightly ajar as well. When I get closer I can hear what they’re saying. 

“Oh my gosh we really made it to Kate McKinnon’s apartment.”

“Nino!!!” Another one chimed in. 

“This is actually insane.” A third one says.

“How the hell did they get in?” I wonder. I feel my heart rate start to pick up and I push the door open. they all freeze in their places and look straight at me.

“Who are you?” The blonde on says. 

“Uhhh, I’m Kate McKinnon’s foster daughter…” I trail off closing the door behind me.

“No way. Thats a fucking lie. She’s never said anything about you.” Another one says.

The third one picks up Nino and is absolutely smothering him with love and affection that he doesn’t want. He scratches her and she lets out a quick yelp and drops him. “Stupid cat…” She murmurs. 

“Well she doesn’t really like to talk about her personal life… You guys need to leave.” I say with my voice trembling. 

“Ummmm. How about no.” She takes a step forward and pushes me into the door with a sly grin. I fumble with my keys and start murmuring something about how Kate wouldn’t like this. By now my heart rate is through the roof and I remember Kate saying that if I ever felt like this I needed to remove myself from the situation. So I take a step to the side and walk to my bedroom.

“Where the fuck is she going? Whatever, lets just keep looking through the apartment.” 

I close the door to my room and put myself against it and slide down to the floor, putting my knees to my chest. I pull out my phone and immediately call Leslie. It rings two times before she picks up and when she does my anxious self manages to spit out a somewhat cohesive sentence. 

“Leslie I need you to come over right now theres three teenage girls that somehow got into the apartment and they’re tearing it apart and terrorizing Nino and they won’t listen to me when I tell them to go and I’m so scared.”

“Baby, I need you to sit tight, I’m catching the next subway and I’ll be right there.” 

She hangs up the phone almost immediately after so there I sit—same position as before, knees to my chest while I try to calm myself down. I can hear the teenage girls screaming around the apartment maybe even breaking plates—who knows I’m too focused on my breathing to pay attention to them. 

I don’t know how long it was, maybe 20-30 minutes, but Leslie finally comes. I couldn’t hear exactly what was going on, but all that I knew what was happening was that there was lots of yelling, maybe even a bitchslap thrown into the mix. But finally, the three teenage girls left. By this point I was trembling with fear trying my very best not to cry because I knew it would spiral down into an anxiety attack.

“Clara?” Leslie calls out, “They’re gone now, you can come out now.” 

I try to answer but instead of words, a let out a massive sob. I can hear Leslie’s footsteps rush to the door and she tries to open it but my body is stopping it.

“Hey, it’s just me and you and Nino here.” She says softly. 

I open the door and practically fling myself into her arms and that’s when I loose it. I start breathing so uncontrollably whilst sobbing at the same time I don’t know where to focus, my heart is pounding so fast and loud that I can hear and feel it through my ears. I guess that Leslie and Kate have been talking about me and my anxiety attacks because Leslie used the same method that Kate does to calm me down. She has me list off 5 things I can see, 4 things I can hear and so on. Finally, after 10 minutes, I’m all calmed down.

“Alright, baby girl, sit tight, I’m gonna call Kate. If anything happens just holler.” 

Leslie rushes off into the living room and sits down and dials Kates number. After maybe 6 missed calls and lots of curse words from Leslie, Kate finally answers. There’s lots of whispering on Leslie’s end and sometimes even long pauses. 

“Clara, honey, Kate wants to talk to you.” Leslie walks over to where I was seated (which was on the floor, knees to my chest) and hands me the phone. 

Before I can even say hello Kate starts talking. 

“Baby, are you okay?” And thats when I break down again, thankfully no hyperventilating, just crying. “Clara, I’m so sorry I wish I could be there with you. I’m catching the next flight home okay, love.” I let out another sob in response. “Do you think you could say something to me so I know you’re okay?” Kate says worriedly. 

“I’m doing okay. Just really freaked out. I miss you tons.” Is all I’m able to muster before I start crying again. 

“Its gonna be okay Clara, I’ll be there real soon I promise.” I try to respond to her but I keep sobbing and I’m trying to calm myself down. 

“Clara? Do you think you could pass the phone to Leslie?” I do as I say and a few minutes later the call ends and Leslie comes over to speak to me.

“Alright so this is the plan; Kate’s gonna catch the next flight to New York which is in about 3 hours. In the meantime you’re gonna be staying at Kate’s moms house so I need you to pack a bag. Do you think you can do that? And then the next morning we’re all gonna go to the police station to place a restraining order against the three girls.” 

At the words restraining order my eyes grow wide. 

“Yes it sounds scary, but its what needs to be done so this doesn’t happen again in the future, with even more fans.” 

I nod my head, I can feel tears start to brim but I push them back. 

“It’s gonna be okay Clara, we’re gonna get through this.” Leslie says. “Do you want a hug?” 

I give her a thumbs up with the biggest smile that I can muster and go in for the hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys liked this chapter! i am so happy, ive been writing so frequently and have finally been able to put my ideas into actual coherent sentences. i hope u guys like the direction of the story, im rlly proud of it. anyways, its 4am im gonna go sleep.
> 
> please, please PLEASE!!! let me know what u think. i love interacting w u guys.
> 
> lots of love,
> 
> nat <3  
> xoxo


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